Our next 4 blog posts come from Sage Jennings. Here is the first of the 4 pieces! We're so excited for the rest!!
Despite it all, I do not hold regrets
I think I’m supposed to
They tell me I should
But as he pulled me off the cliff
He held me tight to his chest
I could hear his heartbeat
And I knew
He didn’t want to kill me
He just wanted someone to hold
as he went down
We all need someone to hug when we’re scared
He was scared
There is no excuse for his actions
There is no excuse for mine
But I do not regret them
So I hugged him back
There was blood on my face
It wasn’t mine
Carrie - bathing in him
Blood is warm when it’s fresh
Like a hot shower that feels like a blanket
I would do it all again
Because who knows what would have happened
if I didn’t
I did not love him
I rarely admit that
I speak of the warm blood as comforting
But the truth is
it burned
This poem was a lie
I did not love him
His heart beat too fast to comfort me
I feared he was excited
A fast heartbeat can be so misconstrued
I was scared
I did not want it to be my fault
I was selfish
I did not want it to be my fault
Maybe I would be happier if we had never met
But who knows what would have happened
So I cannot hold regrets for staying
I hope someone would have replaced me
had we not met
Someone did
The only regret I hold is leaving
I stand by leaving
But I regret it so
Does she stand by me leaving?
Does she forgive me?
His jokes were never funny
I’m sorry to have subjected her to that
Yes - let’s play that game
All that I ever subjected her to
were his mediocre, stolen jokes
Let us clean his hands together
As if they were only ever used for cooking
He made delicious food
As if they only ever punched beanbags
I’m sorry, Beanbag
I’m sorry I cleaned his hands
If it helps, the alcohol stung
He cried
And it made me miss the Guiltless
Sage is a 17-year-old senior from Edmonds, Washington. They have loved reading and writing poetry for years. Among their favorite poets are Fatima Aamer Bilal, Richard Siken, and Sabrina Benaim. They believe that symbolism and allegory exist to communicate emotions that can't truly be captured literally. They use writing as a form of self-expression and are happy to be able to share that.